L33tspeak is here to stay

Today we turn our attention to a new variant of the typed language: Leetspeak or 13375p34k, to stay true to form. We've mentioned it before but what exactly is 1337 speak (another way of typing it)?

A literal translation makes it Elite Speak, a form of written language used largely by Internet geeks in chat-rooms and in on-line games. Wikipedia says "elite" refers to superior hacking skills.

133t5p33k replaces standard letter forms with others looking vaguely similar. So you have 1 for L, 3 for E, 5 for S. Common leet codifications include the use of the letters "u r" for "you are" or leet typos such as "t3H" for "the." K3W1357 means kewlest/coolest, w4r3z (wares) is slang for pirated software.

L33t is still considered the language of the 14-year old geek, but this typist has seen the future it is L33t speak. This strange fusion of numbers, symbols and typos continues to evolve and influence the language, changing typing habits and the way the English language looks and sounds.

+h3 g1PHtEd tYPi5t5 1$ lE@rniNg l33+5P3@k = The Gifted Typist is learning Leetspeak.

Check out the L33t generator to create your own leetspeak.
(Thanks to TagBagger for tip on l33t generator.)

IMglish words of day: CUL8R, WDALYIC

Today we begin a new series.

IMing, or instant messaging, is taking the English language by storm, reshaping the words we use, the way we phrase and the way we spell. Soon we won't recognize the language we learned in grade school because it will all be "CUL8R" and "WDALYIC"

If you don't know what that means, then you should learn because IMglish is here to stay. The first person to leave the correct translation for WDALYIC and CUL8R in comments wins the grand prize which will be announced when the correct answer is received.

Great moments in spin: tire burning is environmentally sound

An advertisement taken out by RRFB Nova Scotia in Monday's Chronicle-Herald newspaper appears under the headline "Using Scrap Tires as Fuel: an Environmentally Sound Decision." The ad contains a number of "Facts" to reassure readers that burning 900,000 used tires in the cement kiln of a Lafarge plan near Truro is a better environmental strategy than recycling those tires.

This typist noted the interesting little piece of back peddling that occurred in Fact 2 of the ad. It's headline read "Using scrap tires as a fuel source in the Brookfield cement kiln will not adversely affect the environment or human health."

But the explanation beneath this headline reads: "A recently independent review commissioned by RRFP Nova Scotia concluded that the use of tire-derived fuel in the Brookfield cement kiln should have no adverse effects on surrounding air quality and human health."

So, we go from the categoric WILL NOT in the headline, to the more qualified SHOULD HAVE NO ADVERSE EFFECTS. Is this a typo or an attempt by the advertiser to cover itself, you know, just in case?

Either way this typist is neither re-assured nor convinced. If the RRFB is so sure that burning almost 1 million used rubber tires is not harmful to environment and human health, shouldn't it be more careful about the words it uses in advertisements designed to reassure the humans who inhabit the environment where tires will burn?

Acronym to verb of the year: FOIPOPed

FOIPOP is the unwieldy acronym for Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act of Nova Scotia.

Some politicians and government bureaucrats would prefer to keep a lid on certain information, but journalists use FOIPOP to force an unwanted disclosure.

"We were trying to keep the whole thing quiet, but CBC and Global foipoped us."

Following this logic we can conjugate the verb to foipop

I foipop
you foipop
he/she foipopped
we foipop
you (plural) foipopped
they foipopped

Foipop hasn't made it into the Blogger spell checker as yet, but we typists applaud this acronym to verb construction. Long live foipop.
(Thanks to Tagbagger)

Merge words

You've heard of smog, a combination of fog and smoke, or motel, which is mobile hotel, or brunch a combo breakfast and lunch. Now, with the rise of the Internet and entertainment as major language influencers, we have more of these merge words. Here are a few this typist has noticed of late:

Brangelina - Brad and Angelina (no need for last names is there?)

Tomcat - no last names here either, but a little forced, don't you think?

Mocumentary - first made famous by Christopher Guest who produced the mother of all mocumentaries with Spinal Tap (still best in genre)

Edutainment - education masquerading as fun; fun masquerading as education, depending on whether you're a parent or a teacher.

Docudrama - fiction based on fact, or perhaps fact based on fiction

Metrosexual - metropolitan heterosexual man with fashion sense, skin products and hair styles of homosexual. Formerly known as Girly boy.

Gadar - gay and radar - ability to spot a gay

Blogosphere - a three word blend here. web + log = blog + atmospshere = blogosphere. (or Blogmos = Blog + cosmos - that one is a Gifted Typist original)

Romcom - Romantic comedy (ie Love Actually.)

Zomcom - Comedy with zombies. (This is tres niche)

Mancation - vacation for men only

Murse - Man purse

Hactivist - activists who hack computers to make to forward their cause.

Kidult entertainment - movies with double entendre for parents and kids. Shrek or Wallace and Gromit come to mind.

Any other merged words? Please comment (or plomment.)

Losers and NonSense

Proposed new names for retail outlets Winners and HomeSense after news that hackers have broken into computer systems and stolen customer information. Hackers now have Visa card information for 2 million Canadians and 20 million customers worldwide. Winners are now Losers, no?

Top fun buzzwords for 2006

Another word list from Buzzwhack

1. blamestorming: A group process where participants analyze a failed project and look for scapegoats other than themselves.

2. death by tweakage: When a product or project fails due to unnecessary tinkering or too many last-minute revisions.

3. BMWs: Bitchers, Moaners and Whiners.

4. clockroaches: Employees who spend most of their day watching the clock - instead of doing their jobs

5. plutoed: To be unceremoniously dumped or relegated to a lower position without an adequate reason or explanation.

6. prairie dogging: A modern office phenomenon. Occurs when workers simultaneously pop their heads up out of their cubicles to see what's going on.

7. carbon-based error: Error caused by a human, not a computer (which we assume would be a silicon-based error).

8. menoporsche: Male menopause. Symptoms include a sudden lack of energy, crankiness and the overpowering urge to buy a Porsche.

9. adminisphere: The upper levels of management where big, impractical, and counterproductive decisions are made.

10. deja poo: The feeling that you've stepped in this bull before.

11. bobbleheading: The mass nod of agreement by participants in a meeting to comments made by the boss even though most have no idea what he/she just said.

12. ringtone rage: The violent response by cube mates after hearing your annoying cell phone ringtone for the 15th time.

13. muffin top: The unsightly roll of flesh that spills over the waist of a pair of too-tight

Words that should be banned: gash flash

We've all heard about it and some of us have seen it: Britney's gash flash. (If you want to see the the picture, you'll have to find it yourself.) Essentially, Britney Spears decided to go commando one evening and flashed herself to a salivating happy snappy paparazzi. The image was then posted to the Internet and everyone who wished to make a study of her external reproductive anatomy was free to do so.

This typist wonders what Britney will do next? Give us a fallopian flash? Or perhaps an ovarian reveal? We could have a cervix malfunction? And just think of what she could do with her uterus! I'm sure the PAParazzi could suggest more such re-pro reveals and mal-fos. It sort of makes the gash flash look dull.

Let's make the ultimate comment on gash flash and ignore completely. Let's not reward Britney for her boorish act. In fact, just just ban the word gash flash.
(thanks to Tagbagger for the tip)

Noun-to-verb word of the year: Plutoed

You've heard of noun-to-verb transformations such as impact to impacted, journal to journaling, scrapbook to scrapbooking.

Well, the American Dialect Society has chosen "Plutoed" as its word of the year for 2006. This noun-to-verb transformation occurred in 2006 when beleaguered Pluto was downgraded from planet to something less than a planet.

And thus we have the genesis of a new verb "Plutoed: to downgrade or demote." She Plutoed her boyfriend after catching him in flagrante delicto with another woman.

Runners up for the ADS word of the year were:

climate canary - something whose poor health indicates a looming environmental catastrophe.
flog - an advertisement disguised as a blog or web log
prohibited liquids - "fluids that cannot be transported by passengers on airplanes"
macaca - "an American citizen treated as an alien"

Top 10 Gag-Me-With-A-Rototiller words of 2006

Here is a list of the most dreadful buzzwords of 2006 from Buzzwhack.
Thanks to WallyP.

1. leveraging our assets: The ultimate DUH in business. Every company attempts to leverage its assets. It only makes sense that companies put their resources, whether it's money, location or talent, to best use in order to make a profit?

2. mission-critical: Another sign that too many people in today's business world have read too many Tom Clancy books. What's wrong with the word "essential"?

3. conversate: To have a conversation. Created by those who (for some bizarre reason) don't think "converse" or "talk" are adequate.

4. information touchpoint: Any contact in which information is shared or transferred. Yes, meetings are information touchpoints.

5. synopsize: To condense the details of a boring, two-hour meeting into a briefer - yet still as boring - version.

6. electronify: The process of turning paper-based data into electronic or digital form.

7. price-optimized: Something sold as cheap as possible, particularly a stripped-down version of a previously successful, but expensive product. However, the price-optimized version is likely to have more flash and less substance.

8. targeted completion date: A comforting term that gives the impression a project will be finished by a certain date (but everyone involved knows there's no chance in hell of it happening).

9. surgerize: To have surgery. "Her face had been surgerized."

10. relanguage: Term used by $300-an-hour consultants when $1 words, such as reword, rephrase or rewrite, would work just as well. "I think we can relanguage that to be more effective."

Favourite euphemism quote

Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne

- Quentin Crisp, English writer, raconteur, gay icon

Typist's euphemism of the year: extraordinary rendition

A US "extra-judicial" process by which untried suspects are exported to other countries for imprisonment and interrogation. Individuals suspected of criminal activity, terrorism or association with terrorist groups can be subjected to extraordinary rendition.

Canadian engineer Mahar Arar was subjected to a US extraordinary rendition in 2002 and sent to Syria where he was imprisoned for one year and tortured. After his release, a Canadian inquiry found that there was no evidence Mr. Arar committed any offence or constituted a security threat.

The word is chosen as this typist's Euphemism of the Year because the words extraordinary and rendition - when used together - serve to dampen down and mute out the serious breach of justice and democracy which occurs when untried suspects (what about presumption of innocence?) are taken into custody and sent to countries known to practice torture. Extraordinary rendition has been called "outsourcing torture" and "torture by proxy."

Typist's word of the year: PAParazzi

Following the example of Merriam Webster Dictionary which chose "truthiness" as its word of the year, this typist has made her own selection for 2006:

PAParazzi: gynaecologists with cameras who go out in public and snap pictures of innocent subjects without their permission or knowledge.

Word of the Year 2006: Truthiness

Merriam-Webster, the official dictionary of American English, has chosen "truthiness" as its word of the year 2006.

This word was coined Stephen Colbert on his TV show The Colbert Report to describe a state in which someone makes a truth claim with no evidence or facts to back it up. The claim by Ex-Defence Secretary Rumsy that Saddam was in possession of WMDs might be an example of "truthiness."

Truthiness has been used to ridicule and satirize claims made governments, business executives and those on the Right of the American political spectrum. Truthiness is not even a word in the MW dictionary, although that will soon change.

The rest of the 2006 MW top ten is as follows:

2. google

3. decider

4. war

5. insurgent

6. terrorism

7. vendetta

7. sectarian

8. quagmire

9. corruption