A joke women tell about men (Part II of previous joke)

This is the second part of another joke. If you're a man, read this first. If you're a woman, you don't have to read the first part.

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells wives. When men go to choose a wife, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building.

"So, a man goes to the Wife Store to find a wife.

On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These women have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These women have jobs and love kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These women have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking."Wow," he thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

He goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These women have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and have big boobs"

Oh, mercy me!" he exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, he goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These women have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, have big boobs and love to have wild sex seven days per week.

He is so tempted to stay, but he goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no women on this floor. This floor is only gay men who have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, have big ****'s and love to have wild sex seven days per week. This floor exists solely as proof that men are impossible to please even when their women smart, beautiful and sexy.

Have fun boys and Thank you for shopping The Wife Store and the Husband Floor.

A joke that men tell about women

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building."

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with housework

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with housework and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Men, women: the difference revealed

It's a sad state of affairs; but a true state of affairs.

Thanks to Dick

Swiss Army function creep?

Gadget mongers, meet your match: the Mother of all Swiss Army knives.

The Giant Knife Version 1.0″ is made by Wenger, maker of Swiss Army Knives. It includes 85 tools and 110 functions. It weighs 2 pounds, 11 ounces and measures 8.75 inches. Some of the tools include a cigar cutter, a bicycle chain rivet setter and a golf divot repair tool. Oh, and tweezers and a toothpick. For the complete list click here.

The price? $1,200 USD.

Isn't it great to be a man Part IV

Here are the final reasons why it's great to be a man:

- You can play with toys all your life.
- Your belly hides your big hips.
- No one gives you a hard time about your VPL
- You can wear horrible, dated clothes and not be judged for it
- One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons.
- You can wear shorts no matter how bad your legs look.
- You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
- The hairdresser charges you less even if the cut the same as a woman's
- You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
- You enjoy a bit of sexual harassment every now and then
- You can only have to do Christmas shopping for your wife, girlfriend, mother (sometimes all three at once!)
- you leave your Christmas shopping until 24th December and then have dutiful female sales clerks doting over you and making the decisions for you
- you get to drink the bourbon left for Santa on Christmas Eve.

No wonder you're so happy, men.

Isn't it great to be a man Part III

Here are more reasons why it's great to be a Yard Ape, oops, I mean man.

- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat and consist of "yup" "no" and "who's bringing the beer"
- You never get embarassed when you miss social cues.
- A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase and golf clubs
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- You "babysit" your own children and then are sainted for it
- Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack and you only buy a new three-pack once every three years.
- There's a place to pee around every corner, against every wall
- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
- You only have to shave your face and neck and don't get called rude names if you choose not to shave at all

Isn't it great to be a man - Part II

Men have it good, don't they. In Part I we began this fascinating investigation. Here we continue to explore the why's.

*You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
*You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
*Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.
*Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
*People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
*The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
*New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

And there are more to come.

Isn't it great to be a man Part I

Why? Well here are a few reasons:
Your last name stays put.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal.
Tune in for Part II of this screed tomorrow,

Busy husbands; flapper wives

There was a time when busy husbands took a break from their busy days to contemplate a Christmas gift for their wives. This full-page ad comes from a 1920s homemaker's magazine this typist happened to be reading some years ago. It's aimed at the "modern" man who wishes to make his wife's life easier.

If you look closely, you will see that the wife in question is a fragile, obedient creature who finds the "utmost joy" in keeping an exquisitely clean house. She never complains about the drudge of housework. She will no doubt be thrilled by the appearance of a Hoover under her tree on Christmas morning. No wonder the flapper women rebelled with daring knee-length skirts, the Charleston and those close relationships with other flapper women.

Nova Scotia calendar boys

Here's something for the lady who has everything. It's the lobstermen of South West Nova baring it all for cancer. The lobstermen have taken it all off for a calendar that aims to raise $100,000 for a cancer centre in South Western Nova Scotia.

This typist applauds the vision ;-) of the all-female committee and the photographer Sherman Hines who donated to this project.

You can order now to get your 2007 version of Nova Scotia's Calendar Boys.