Words that should be banned: woo woo (!)

There is no question that a public performance of music is one of life's great pleasures, unless you happen to find yourself in vicinity of a "woo woo" artist.

You know the "woo woo" artist. This is an individual so taken with the pleasure of the moment, they channel their exaltation through the "woo woo."

This is a loud, often shrill expression produced by curling the mouth into an O-shape and forcing air from the lungs, across the larynx and out through the O-shaped mouth to make a long-winded, high-decibel and oft-repeated "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" sound.

Now, this typist does not mind a "woo" here or a "woo" there to express heightened appreciation and has on occasion used the "woo" to that end. It is not the "woo" or the "wooing" itself that causes ire, but rather compulsive use of the "woo woo" by a "woo woo" artist in close proximity.

The overuse of the "woo woo" belittles its power to appreciate. If you "woo" at everything, then you contribute to a situation of appreciation inflation. Too much "woo woo" renders an audience incapable of distinguishing the good from the very good, or the very good from the outstanding.

Why not intersperse the "woo woo" with other expressions of appreciation like Hooray!, or it's abbreviation "Yeah!." And then there are the variants: "Yippy" and "Yeee-haaaa" and "Yaa-hoo." (Although in the last instance we could be limited by copyright and trademark issues.) And what about the good old-fashioned hand clap? Has this ceased to be adequate in the age of the "woo woo."

While there is no direct evidence that the "woo woo" is a risk factor for vocabulary dysfunction, an over reliance of the "woo woo" may lead those in close proximity to the "woo woo" artist to speculate on vocabulary deficiencies.

By the end of the evening, close neighbours of the "woo woo" artist might wonder if the "woo woo" is not a device to seize attention away from the performing artist and re-direct it towards the "woo woo" artist him or herself.

It would not be a huge leap to conclude that the"woo woo" may in fact be motivated by a "look-at-me" imperative, which seems so contrary to the purpose of applauding a performer in the first place.

And so for these reasons the "woo woo" must be banned. If people abuse it, then they will have to lose it.