Queen rules

It would be hard to argue with the choice of Queen as best British rock band of all time. Their ability to crank out stadium anthems such We Are The Champions, operatic flights of fantasy like Bohemian Rhapsody, and feel-good tunes like You're My Best Friend qualifies them even without the OTT camp-before-it-was-trendy antics of front man Freddie Mercury.

But it was that voice, Freddie's magnificent tenor vocal range and delivery that rose above all else for this typist. When he put that voice to Barcelona, there were no other tenors.

Over 20,000 BBC Radio 2 listeners voted on New Year's day. Given the demographic of this station 35-50, it's not surprising that Queen should rule.

The top five are:
1. Queen
2. The Beatles
3. Rolling Stones
4. Oasis
5 Take That

Queen, yes. Ditto the Beatles and Stones for the top five, but can someone please explain how Take That (the name Robbie Williams ring a bell?) beat out the likes of Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin and The Who to name a few?

Prime Minister of the Blues dies

This typist was saddened to hear that Dutch Mason - singer, guitarist, consummate bluesman and prime minister of the blues - died yesterday in Truro, NS.
Dubbed PM of the Blues by King of the Blues BB King, Dutchy played the bar circuit in Nova Scotia and across Canada since the 1950s. This typist recalls seeing his thickened arthritis-riddled fingers clasping a microphone as he belted out tunes in many of those bars in the 80s and 90s.
And when the arthritis claimed the rest of him, Dutchy was still up there on stage in his wheelchair singing the blues. He was the blues.
We'll miss him.

U2 Bono?

Queen Elizabeth II has announced that Bono (Paul Hewson) is to be made an honourary knight in recognition of his work to erradicate poverty, particularly in Africa.

The official title is Knight Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire. There will be no "Sir Bono" as this award is conferred upon citizens of countries of which the Queen is not head of state. Bono is Irish.

This typist salutes you, Bono, for your good works and your good music.

Wossy's Christmas playlist

Here is a Christmas playlist from today's broadcast from the funniest man in British radio. Jonathan Ross, Wossy to his friends, does his chat-and-music show each Saturday morning on BBC Radio 2. Today's guests include Wossy's good friend Ricky Gervais, creator and star of The Office (the original, not the American.)

'PEACE ON EARTH' - BING CROSBY & DAVID BOWIE

'BACK DOOR SANTA' -CLARENCE CARTER

'CHURCH OF THE POISON MIND' - CULTURE CLUB

"I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS' - ELVIS PRESLEY

'I SAW MOMMY KISSING SANTA CLAUS' - THE RONETTES

'THE CHRISTMAS SONG" - FRANK SINATRA & NAT KING COLE

'I WISH IT COULD BE CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY' - WIZZARD

'SILENT NIGHT' (LIVE) -Artist: G4

'SANTA CLAUS GO STRAIGHT TO THE GHETTO' - JAMES BROWN

'HAPPY XMAS (WAR IS OVER) - JOHN HOLT

'LAST CHRISTMAS' - WHAM

'A WHOLE NEW WORLD' - KATIE PRICE & PETER ANDRE

'A WINTERS TALE' - DAVID ESSEX

'A FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK' - THE POGUES

Ten saddest songs

While we're on topic of song lists, how about this: the 10 saddest songs.

The Finnish mobile phone giant Nokia UK has named The Verve's hit 'The Drugs Don't Work' as the saddest song. The company commissioned an "expert" in physiology and music to analyze physical responses to rock and pop songs. It measured heart rate, respiratory response and skin temperature based on songs compiled by the official UK Charts Company.

"Music is undeniably powerful at triggering different emotional states. Changes in tempo and frequencies induce profoundly different emotional states," said Dr. Harry Witchel who carried out the survey. "A slow tempo song like The Verve's 'The Drugs Don't Work' slows down the heart compared to most of the other songs and compared to white noise - in other words, it works like the emotional state of sadness.

Hmmm. Anyway, here is the rest of the list. Are these songs sad or just obvious choices for the list?

1. The Verve - The Drugs Don't Work

2. Robbie Williams - Angels

3. Elton John - Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

4. Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You

5. Sinead O'Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U

6. Will Young - Leave Right Now

7. Elvis Presley - Are You Lonesome Tonight?

8. Christina Aguilera - Beautiful

9. James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover

10. Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees

Ten happiest songs

According to the same Nokia study, these are the ten happiest songs:

1. Lily Allen - "LDN"

2. ABBA - "Dancing Queen"

3. R.E.M. - "Shiny Happy People"

4. B52s - "Love Shack"

5. The Beatles - "She Loves You"

6. Beyonce - "Crazy in Love"

7. Britney Spears - "Baby One More Time

"8. Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes - "I've Had the Time of My Life"

9. Spice Girls - "Spice Up Your Life"

10. Kylie Minogue - "Spinning Around"

Worst songs for sex

Just days after the Gifted Typist issued a request for a list of the ten worst songs for sex, the BBC gave its list, no doubt in response.

10. Old Shep - Elvis Presley (it's about a man who has to shoot his dog)

9. Lark's Tongue in Aspic Parts I & II - King Crimson (prog rock that's only into itself)

8. Who are you? - The Who (for obvious reasons)

7. Rude Box - Robbie Williams (so desperate for sex it needs a bucket of water thrown over it)

6. Too drunk to f*** - Dead Kennedies(sorry, they keyboard censored that one, so you guess)

5. Theme from Dr Who - BBC (who would want to have sex with a Dr. Who fan?)

4. National anthem (the BBC means God Save the Queen, but Oh Canada would be even worse)

3. Now I want to sniff some glue - The Ramones (only 1min 35 seconds, romantic theme too.)

2. Three Girl Rumba - Wire (1 min 23 seconds and with enough time for a post-coital snuggle)

1. Napalm Death - Dead (5 seconds long, charming)

Worst songs for sex?

Now that we have the list of the best songs for sex taken care of, perhaps we should work up a list for the worse songs for having sex.
Any suggestions?

Best songs for sex (hold the lyrics)

An on-line survey by Yahoo music recently rated Marvin Gaye's ‘Sexual Healing’ as the best song for engaging in a little bit of the old, you know, rumpy pumpy. On paper, maybe, but in reality, wouldn't it be sort of embarrassing to have the following lyrics crooning at you in the background.

Baby, I'm hot just like your oven.
Oh- I need your lovin'

or

Baby I got sick this morning
A sea was storming inside of me
Baby I think I'm capsizing
The waves are rising and rising
And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing

or

You're my medicine open up and let me in Darling,
Darling, you're so great
I can't wait for you to operate

Here are the top-ten rated songs for having sex

1. Marvin Gaye – Sexual Healing.

2. U2 – With Or Without You

3. Barry White – My First My Last My Everything

4. Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin – Je T’aime

5. Chris Isaac – Wicked Game

6. Al Green – Let’s Stay Together

7. Phyllis Nelson – Move Closer

8. INXS – I Need You Tonight

9. Madonna – Justify My Love

10. Kylie Minogue – Slow

Anthrax on anthrax

Shortly after the 9-11 attacks in the United States, there were a number of deaths linked to the lethal bacteria anthrax. Fearing a large-scale bio-terrorist attack, many Americans sought out the antibiotic Cipro as a treatment for inhalation of anthrax.

Among the Cipro-seekers was Scott Ian, lead singer of thrash-metal band Anthrax who said he ordered the drug "because I will not die an ironic death."