Bad news:
29 March 2007
28 March 2007
Seal protest staged in London
Members of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) staged a demonstration today in front of Canada House in Trafalgar Square in Central London. The pictures are a Gifted Typist exclusive, taken by GT's newly appointed Chief London Correspondent.
Words that should be banned: Delusional Calgaria
Yes, the Delusional Calgaria campaign to get Nova Scotians back home is cute and funny. Yes, Nova Scotians have a good sense of humour, a great lifestyle, cheaper rentals, smaller traffic jams and a kinder gentler pace of life.
But the cute campaign by Rodney MacDonald's Nova Scotia government misses the point. It confuses the build-it-and-they-will-come philosophy with a build-a-website-and-make-everyone-think-they-will-come approach.
Sure the cute campaign is getting publicity. But to what end? What, Rodney, do you suppose all these ex-pat Nova Scotians are going to come back to? Jobs in call centres? Retail? Fast food? Perhaps they can work on Delusional Calgaria websites.
The Delusional Calgaria campaign doesn't insult Calgary or Calgarians. It insults the battery Nova Scotians who left - often against their will - to pursue work and opportunities.
Most of them didn't want to abandon all the great things in Nova Scotia. They left to get good paying jobs and to get them quickly so they can pay off student debt among other things. They left for an enterprise culture that will produce opportunities and skills, the things they need to build their future.
If anyone looks delusional here, it is the government of Nova Scotia for making such a ludicrous pitch. If you build it, they will come. But if you just say it, they will not. And who could blame them?
But the cute campaign by Rodney MacDonald's Nova Scotia government misses the point. It confuses the build-it-and-they-will-come philosophy with a build-a-website-and-make-everyone-think-they-will-come approach.
Sure the cute campaign is getting publicity. But to what end? What, Rodney, do you suppose all these ex-pat Nova Scotians are going to come back to? Jobs in call centres? Retail? Fast food? Perhaps they can work on Delusional Calgaria websites.
The Delusional Calgaria campaign doesn't insult Calgary or Calgarians. It insults the battery Nova Scotians who left - often against their will - to pursue work and opportunities.
Most of them didn't want to abandon all the great things in Nova Scotia. They left to get good paying jobs and to get them quickly so they can pay off student debt among other things. They left for an enterprise culture that will produce opportunities and skills, the things they need to build their future.
If anyone looks delusional here, it is the government of Nova Scotia for making such a ludicrous pitch. If you build it, they will come. But if you just say it, they will not. And who could blame them?
27 March 2007
A Monty Python take on IEDs
Here is TagBagger's Pythonesque take on IEDs (Improvised Explosive Devices) which we banned in the previous post. Cynical? Or just calling a bomb a bomb. It was pulled out of GT comments.
1)The 'good guys' use REAL 'Bombs' - only evil terrorists use IED's - because they are the bad guys
2)They are also bad guys because they refuse to fight fair by the definition of the "Coalition' occupying armies - this is very bad, and shows a weak moral war compass.
3)The media uses IED, because it sounds cool, and shows that they appreciate the briefings they get from the good guys. They demonstrate their gratitude by turning off their camera as the Governor General is toured through the army vehicles that have been damaged by the 'bad evil guys' IED's - if they didn't, one might begin to wonder just who is good, and who is bad - which is a slippery slope.
Remember kids - Bombs=Good (esp. the new smart bombs that only kill bad guys and women and children who will at some point in the future become bad guys for sure)IED's=Bad - unfair evil war cheating terrorists heroically fighting the Western occupying armies in their own country... (Oh wait, I'm getting confused here) Bombs=Good, IED's=Bad, UsGood, ThemBad - always remember kids - the 'Other' is always bad.
Words that should be banned: IED
Why can't we just call a bomb a bomb?
Sure, there are different types of bombs. There are big bombs, little bombs, fertilizer bombs, smart bombs, pipe bombs, incendiary bombs, doodlebug bombs, cluster bombs, nail bombs, roadside bombs and bath bombs.
IED is military nomenclature for "improvised explosive device."
Why don't they just say homemade bomb?
And why do does the media use this lingo? It's fine for an organization like the military to have its jargon, but if the terminology doesn't enhance our understanding, then why use it? Just because we can?
IED? Sounds like IUD - Intra Uterine Device - not a roadside bomb.
It also sounds like WMD, a little-roll-off-the-tongue device picked up by media hungry for war ratings in another time and place.
Let's ban IED and keep the communication real and honest.
Sure, there are different types of bombs. There are big bombs, little bombs, fertilizer bombs, smart bombs, pipe bombs, incendiary bombs, doodlebug bombs, cluster bombs, nail bombs, roadside bombs and bath bombs.
IED is military nomenclature for "improvised explosive device."
Why don't they just say homemade bomb?
And why do does the media use this lingo? It's fine for an organization like the military to have its jargon, but if the terminology doesn't enhance our understanding, then why use it? Just because we can?
IED? Sounds like IUD - Intra Uterine Device - not a roadside bomb.
It also sounds like WMD, a little-roll-off-the-tongue device picked up by media hungry for war ratings in another time and place.
Let's ban IED and keep the communication real and honest.
26 March 2007
25 March 2007
Favourite transvestite quote
Most transvestites are just regular guys , who occasionally like to eat, drink and be Mary
- Joe Joseph
(Couldn't find anything on JJ. All I know is that he's British. Anyone with any further info?)
- Joe Joseph
(Couldn't find anything on JJ. All I know is that he's British. Anyone with any further info?)
24 March 2007
What is your FAQ?
Slacker answers her FAQs this week. Read here for answers to these and other questions:
1. Where do you stand on the organization Slobs without Borders?
2. Have you conquered your dust bunny problem?
3. What is your position on the male Speedo?
4. Do your beastly felines appreciate unreservedly everything you've done for them?
1. Where do you stand on the organization Slobs without Borders?
2. Have you conquered your dust bunny problem?
3. What is your position on the male Speedo?
4. Do your beastly felines appreciate unreservedly everything you've done for them?
Typist goes AWOL
Due to a combination of circumstances, this typist went AWOL yesterday. This blog and its readers were completely ignored for the entire day with no explanation until now.
Early yesterday morning, one of the young typists was rushed to hospital with a mysterious and potentially serious condition. There were tests on blood, lymph nodes, mobility and other things. There were X-rays, radioactive isotopes swallowed and then gamma rays. There were doctors, specialists, nurses and nuclear (!) medicine technicians and nice people who came around to make sure we were comfortable. There were looks of concern from professionals and at times frightening body language.
And there were hours of waiting for results in small windowless rooms on a beautiful sunny spring day, a day the little typist should have been out playing because there was no school.
In the end, there was happiness and relief. The worst was ruled out. The little typist has a problem but he will be OK.
The keyboard also had a problem - water spilled on it by the other little typist. But that didn't rate yesterday. Nothing else rated yesterday.
Early yesterday morning, one of the young typists was rushed to hospital with a mysterious and potentially serious condition. There were tests on blood, lymph nodes, mobility and other things. There were X-rays, radioactive isotopes swallowed and then gamma rays. There were doctors, specialists, nurses and nuclear (!) medicine technicians and nice people who came around to make sure we were comfortable. There were looks of concern from professionals and at times frightening body language.
And there were hours of waiting for results in small windowless rooms on a beautiful sunny spring day, a day the little typist should have been out playing because there was no school.
In the end, there was happiness and relief. The worst was ruled out. The little typist has a problem but he will be OK.
The keyboard also had a problem - water spilled on it by the other little typist. But that didn't rate yesterday. Nothing else rated yesterday.
22 March 2007
Imglish lessons #6 - Personal ads
SWF* is a standard lingo in the world of personal ads IMglish, but personal ads are swimming in IMglishisms, some of which you may know, others you may not. It's important to understand this special IMglish dialect lest you don't find what you're looking for, or worse, you end up with something you weren't looking for.
DDF - Drug and Disease Free
*Single White Female
- B - Black, as in DBF (Divorced Black Female)
- BBW - Big Beautiful Woman
- plus-size and happy with herself
- C - Christian, as in SWCM (Single White Christian Male)
DDF - Drug and Disease Free
- Fet - Fetish
- FtM - Female-to-Male Transgendered
- FWB - "Friends With Benefits"
- (friends who have sex without romantic involvement or the expectation thereof)
*Single White Female
21 March 2007
Words that should be banned: Rodney MacDonald
Not from the gymnasium, from the fiddle or from the step-dancing floor, but Rodney MacDonald should be banned from the playground of provincial politics.
This morning we had an episode of Rodney's Believe it or Not! featuring our premier on radio answering yet more questions on another cabinet minister's brush with police. Has our young step-dancing, fiddling-playing premier not learned the lessons of the Ernie Fage affair?
Meanwhile his province is trying to pick itself up again after the sucker punch dealt by Stephen Harper's budget. It presented Nova Scotia with a sort of Sophie's Choice for federal support: either give up the offshore accord that would allow this have-not province keep more oil and gas royalties, or receive less money in federal transfers.
For Rodney's Nova Scotia that means receiving $5 million less if the province opts to keep the accord negotiated with the Liberal government.
While Newfoundland's premier Danny Williams is spitting bullets and threatening fire and brimstone against Stephen Harper's Tories, Rodney comes out with a few flaccid comments about federal MPs having some explaining to do. And he won't even commit to a flaccid comment on campaigning against the federal Conservatives in the next election.
Rodney, your province has a $12.5 billion debt. It's bleeding workers, young people and taxpayers to Alberta. Its population is aging and needs hospitals, senior's homes and services. Its resource economy is in decline. And now it's getting kicked in the head by a Conservative Prime Minister who is doling out the dosh to the big provinces to buy his longed-for majority.
Even if you made it look as though you have a grasp on these problems, you might give us a reason not to ban you just yet. But alas, Rodney, you aren't even doing a good of pretending.
Let's ban Rodney MacDonald from Nova Scotia politics.
Let's get Danny Williams to Nova Scotia. Stat!
This morning we had an episode of Rodney's Believe it or Not! featuring our premier on radio answering yet more questions on another cabinet minister's brush with police. Has our young step-dancing, fiddling-playing premier not learned the lessons of the Ernie Fage affair?
Meanwhile his province is trying to pick itself up again after the sucker punch dealt by Stephen Harper's budget. It presented Nova Scotia with a sort of Sophie's Choice for federal support: either give up the offshore accord that would allow this have-not province keep more oil and gas royalties, or receive less money in federal transfers.
For Rodney's Nova Scotia that means receiving $5 million less if the province opts to keep the accord negotiated with the Liberal government.
While Newfoundland's premier Danny Williams is spitting bullets and threatening fire and brimstone against Stephen Harper's Tories, Rodney comes out with a few flaccid comments about federal MPs having some explaining to do. And he won't even commit to a flaccid comment on campaigning against the federal Conservatives in the next election.
Rodney, your province has a $12.5 billion debt. It's bleeding workers, young people and taxpayers to Alberta. Its population is aging and needs hospitals, senior's homes and services. Its resource economy is in decline. And now it's getting kicked in the head by a Conservative Prime Minister who is doling out the dosh to the big provinces to buy his longed-for majority.
Even if you made it look as though you have a grasp on these problems, you might give us a reason not to ban you just yet. But alas, Rodney, you aren't even doing a good of pretending.
Let's ban Rodney MacDonald from Nova Scotia politics.
Let's get Danny Williams to Nova Scotia. Stat!
20 March 2007
Winter gets the last laugh on first day of spring
Spring 2007 officially arrives 21 March 00:07 GMT.
That means it arrives 20 March at 9:07 pm in this part of the world.
By the looks of things, it would seem that Spring is real a joker. Ha ha ha
That means it arrives 20 March at 9:07 pm in this part of the world.
By the looks of things, it would seem that Spring is real a joker. Ha ha ha
SS Atlantic remembered
These two roses* appear to be overlooking the scene of one of the worst marine disasters in Canadian history. They were found attached to a bench on the memorial boardwalk of the SS Atlantic in Lower Prospect. In the waters beyond, 546 of 975 passengers perished on the night of 1 April 1873 when the steamship Atlantic encountered a storm and struck an underwater rock off the Nova Scotia coast near Terrance Bay. Local residents, many of them fishermen, helped with the rescue. Just behind the boardwalk is the resting place for 277 of the victims.
*the roses were not real
19 March 2007
Lobster feast
Here was the lobster feast that produced the odd crustacean Pushmepullyou. It was lobster on an Asian theme and it was every bit as mouth watering as it appears, possibly even better.
18 March 2007
Favourite drugs quote
I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police.
-Keith Richards, British musician
Vivre Le Clutter
For a brief moment last year, we thought there might be hope for the Back-to-Clutter Movement. Articles appeared in the newspaper talking about the importance of scattering personal things around the house. They even mentioned the C-word: Clutter! Finally, there was light at the end of the neat-tidy-sterile tunnel of home decorating.
But alas the Taste Titans and Style Dictators got to the Clutter People and had them snuffed them out. For more lamentations of a beleaguered clutter artist, read here.
But alas the Taste Titans and Style Dictators got to the Clutter People and had them snuffed them out. For more lamentations of a beleaguered clutter artist, read here.
15 March 2007
Typist takes leave
The typist has left the stenopool for a few days to attend a typing convention.
Back on Sunday with a favourite quote.
ttfn (look it up in your IMglish dictionary).
Back on Sunday with a favourite quote.
ttfn (look it up in your IMglish dictionary).
Pushmepullyou lobster
A lobster feast resulted in this curious arrangement of crustacean carcasses. What would Dr. Dolittle think?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
