Why ask for a"small" coffee when you can have a "tall?"
Who would settle for a mundane "medium" when a "grande" awaits?
And what's the use of proletarian "large" coffee when you can have a "venti?"
This is the new language - Starbucklish. Walk into a Starbucks and ask for a small and the coffee clerks - oops barristas! - roll their eyes. Don't cha know? Tall is the new small!
It's cool to speak Starbucklish. Come on. English is so passe. Grande is the new medium. Get with the picture people. It's cool to have a corporation appropriate the language. Is it even legal to use the word "tall" for any other purpose than to describe a small coffee while in Starbucks?
Don't cha know? Venti is the new large. It's cool to submit to their words and their categories. I mean, who wants to use their own mind and language when the corp. can do it for you?
Free agency? Oh please. That is so 18-century Enlightenment values! We're drones now. We do what the corp tells us and we say what the corp tells us because the corp says it's cool! And if the corp says it's cool, then we must must cool.
That's why people no longer get laid off. They get "rightsized" or "restructured" out of their jobs. That's what the corp says. How could getting "rightsized" out of a job possibly be a bad thing? You can spend your afternoons "dialoguing" with other rightsized team members and drink tall slim decafe vanilla lattes at the Bucks.
Isn't it cool?
05 February 2007
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9 comments:
Starbucks! Grrrr.
I don't order a tall or a grande on purpose!!!
I always ask for a small or medium.
kk
The whole Star*ucks thing is completely vapid ... from the chirpy barristas to the cardboard tasting coffee (how the hell can a coffee company make such consistently atrocious coffee?!?).
Starbucks, or as a friend calls it "Sixbucks", because you can't get out of there without spending a "grande" for a bad, albeit, fancilly (or should I say farsically) named coffee. I too only use the terms small, medium and large at these coffee establishments, I will not bend to the corp pressure.
It reminds me of those peer pressure psychology experiments in which a group is asked to identify the smallest object. The experient is stacked so that four people will point to the one that clearly isn't the smallest.
The fifth person is then left to decide whether to believe their own perception or go with the peer group.
I allow six bucks once a year during a Christmas shopping break for one eggnog latte. When the "barrista" first asked what size I preferred and they started speaking what I thought was a foreign language of sizes, I just dumbfoundedly pointed to the cup size and laughed at them. What happened to good ole medium double-double??
Hortons may not have the best coffee in the world, but at least it's honest.
I'm all for bashing the ridiculous Starbucks terminology. Size does matter but only if you understand what you're talking about.
Yes size matters, as long as you're telling the truth.
Haha, I was going to say touche but it looks too much like touch.
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